I echo Janice Lagata: “when I want to be charitable I say evangelicalism is a net-negative. When I’m honest I know it is evil.” My bones demand to see the day where the whole edifice (systems) that produces and protects abusers in the name of a religion devoid of justice and empathy is torn down and held accountable for the hell on earth it created. We deserved better. Today’s children deserve better. Our planetary future depends on us doing better.
It’s wild to me how once you recognize the permission structures that sanctify abuse in one area (i.e RAP literature) you can spot its existence elsewhere. I’m examining various Charismatic Christian and mainstream evangelical “deliverance” methodologies that purport to bring inner freedom and identity alignment. They all have in common the demonization (to various degrees) of emotions and normal biological responses to trauma and unmet needs, the conditioning and sanctification of self-doubt and hypervigilance, and the stated goals of perfect submission or obedience to God (and by default, God’s mouthpieces) for missional efficiency. The victims are frequently vulnerable young adults or isolated individuals whose desire for purpose and meaningful connection gets exploited for controlling ends. Like RAP methods, God is turned into the ultimate surveillance system to keep people in-line and afraid of their autonomy and sovereignty.
Yes once you realize that so many of these groups target vulnerable people (including children) it really changes how you see all of it. I would be so curious to know what and how you are researching!
I’m currently reading through Living Fearless by Jamie Winship (published in 2023) and The Freedom Manual by Brian Brennt and Mike Riches (the latter is used in YWAM adjacent schools in conjunction with a teaching course called Original Design). I’m gonna see if I can get my hands on Frank Hammond’s Pigs in a Parlor, Neil T. Anderson’s The Steps to Freedom in Christ (the guy worked with CRU), Deliverance Training Manual from Bill Hamon’s Christian International network and The Biblical Guidebook to Deliverance from Randy Clark’s the Global Awakening Network (New Apostolic Reformation). I’m still developing my research, but I’m looking at rhetorical similarities between manuals, the possible psychological impact of uncritically following said methodologies, and how their stated goals of inner freedom clash with their underlying assumptions about an embattled world controlled by spiritual forces Christians must combat and guard themselves against.
I stumbled into this project after my partner (who is not a Christian) was gifted a copy of Living Fearless by Jamie Winship and, when I quickly perused through it, I recognized from my experience in YWAM the language of exchanging lies for truths in order to submit to God for grandiose missional aims.
“None of this equipped children to stand up for themselves against abusive adults.“
Especially our own parents! It left no one for me/kids to safely talk to or feel like they’d be believed and harms and abuse addressed.
Makes me think that educators could benefit from training to understand RAP and resulting abuse, recognize fawning in children, and learn to be a safe adult whom a child could trust to talk to about what’s happening in their homes and churches.
Like: Who is there for the kids?! I didn’t have anyone but my internal self to talk to.
Also: It has been hard and unfruitful trying to talk to my own family members, some of whom witnessed my abuse, about the reality of my abuse. They are not here for the kids turned adults fighting for their inner child and their own children. I’m just feeling angry (an emotion I wasn’t allowed to feel most of my life because of RAP beliefs and parenting methods)… I’m thinking of all of us children past, present and future.
being an SA abuse survivor myself, I found The Second Wound community / website to be incredibly validating -- the idea behind the title is that there's the initial wound of the abuse, and then the second wound of not being believed and not being supported by family :(
that book cover made me cringe! Just so grateful you guys are doing this work.
I wrote a song a while back about leaving religion and finally added this line "I know now that I have always been good inside". Whenever I sing that line it I feel some grief, but at the same time it feels therapeutic to just sing that line over and over!
As someone who attended a SGM church during this time, the culture was so so so bad. There is no ordination, just internal training. If you are liked (and male), you moved up.
I started going after college - it was very different from the church I grew up in and I found the style appealing. But that appeal didn't last long. The members were very insulated and did EVERYTHING together, all week long. After marriage and having a baby, it was pretty clear I didn't fit in (and was clearly dealing with undiagnosed ND issues). At one point, there was a women's tea where we learned about submission and I HATED it. I had brought the two tea sets I had, but apparently forgot the saucers, so mine were hidden from view under the table. So, I sat at a table with people I didn't like very much, drinking tea I hated, and eating tiny sandwiches when I was hungry. Ugh.
The part about the saucers makes me laugh now.
There were other issues that became screamingly obvious when I was diagnosed with a medical issue and my son was born with a congenital issue. A little after that, the rumors started about the abuse and the coverup. There was an internal report that started a lot of this, and I was able to read it online. When I brought it up in our small group/bible study, I was told that we were told not to read the report and why would I go against the leadership. This is where my ND brain reared in protest: "Why wouldn't I read something? I read everything." I literally couldn't imagine not reading something.
Later, I was part of a group that confronted the senior pastor about it. I asked him what we should think of the core members who had left because of the abuse - they were people he had done everything with for YEARS. I was gossiping, he said, and this was inappropriate.
I was done. We tried a few different churches until 2016, when I was done for good. I never allowed my son to be alone with anybody from a church. I knew better.
Oh my gosh what a nightmare. Thank you so much for trying to bring up that stuff . . . I feel like ND people often make the best whistleblowers but man it is a lonely job.
So much to think about here - I think you could do another chapter on the ways evangelical teaching sabotages normal human (child) development. I remember thinking about this when my children were toddlers -- if Jesus was human, he must have gone through a phase of saying "no" just like any normal toddler. At the time, this was a tool for me to accept some of the frustrations of parenting toddlers - but also I recognized that many Christians, in seeing Jesus as perfect, would have believed that he never said "no" to his parents. He always obeyed.
And this - the focus on obedience, is key to abuse.
Similarly, when I was a teen, so many adults saw me as mature because I was quite compliant. And thoughtful. But even as a young adult, I struggled with what I'd been taught to view as "Christian maturity" when I knew I had yet to attain maturity as a human being. And sometimes, it seemed even then, those things conflicted.
I was raised in a Christian home I'd describe as evangelical adjacent -- but the insidiousness of Christian radio and Christian publishing means all these harmful ideas were very prevalent in the circles I was raised in, and the ones I raised my children in.
we're actually kicking around the idea of a book on this very topic! We've written about toddlerhood & adolescence in former chapters, looking at how evangelicalism targeted these important phases -- but we're looking to broaden it, and look at several developmental phases and the impact of religious authoritarian parenting
If anyone hasn’t seen this film, I recommend it. NOT AN EASY WATCH, especially if you infer what the film is saying that it *couldn’t* say in its era (pre-code). Rachel’s final monologue of the film, especially, drives home how old and constant this violence towards children has been. Thanks for writing this piece, super helpful.
I echo Janice Lagata: “when I want to be charitable I say evangelicalism is a net-negative. When I’m honest I know it is evil.” My bones demand to see the day where the whole edifice (systems) that produces and protects abusers in the name of a religion devoid of justice and empathy is torn down and held accountable for the hell on earth it created. We deserved better. Today’s children deserve better. Our planetary future depends on us doing better.
It’s wild to me how once you recognize the permission structures that sanctify abuse in one area (i.e RAP literature) you can spot its existence elsewhere. I’m examining various Charismatic Christian and mainstream evangelical “deliverance” methodologies that purport to bring inner freedom and identity alignment. They all have in common the demonization (to various degrees) of emotions and normal biological responses to trauma and unmet needs, the conditioning and sanctification of self-doubt and hypervigilance, and the stated goals of perfect submission or obedience to God (and by default, God’s mouthpieces) for missional efficiency. The victims are frequently vulnerable young adults or isolated individuals whose desire for purpose and meaningful connection gets exploited for controlling ends. Like RAP methods, God is turned into the ultimate surveillance system to keep people in-line and afraid of their autonomy and sovereignty.
Yes once you realize that so many of these groups target vulnerable people (including children) it really changes how you see all of it. I would be so curious to know what and how you are researching!
I’m currently reading through Living Fearless by Jamie Winship (published in 2023) and The Freedom Manual by Brian Brennt and Mike Riches (the latter is used in YWAM adjacent schools in conjunction with a teaching course called Original Design). I’m gonna see if I can get my hands on Frank Hammond’s Pigs in a Parlor, Neil T. Anderson’s The Steps to Freedom in Christ (the guy worked with CRU), Deliverance Training Manual from Bill Hamon’s Christian International network and The Biblical Guidebook to Deliverance from Randy Clark’s the Global Awakening Network (New Apostolic Reformation). I’m still developing my research, but I’m looking at rhetorical similarities between manuals, the possible psychological impact of uncritically following said methodologies, and how their stated goals of inner freedom clash with their underlying assumptions about an embattled world controlled by spiritual forces Christians must combat and guard themselves against.
I stumbled into this project after my partner (who is not a Christian) was gifted a copy of Living Fearless by Jamie Winship and, when I quickly perused through it, I recognized from my experience in YWAM the language of exchanging lies for truths in order to submit to God for grandiose missional aims.
“None of this equipped children to stand up for themselves against abusive adults.“
Especially our own parents! It left no one for me/kids to safely talk to or feel like they’d be believed and harms and abuse addressed.
Makes me think that educators could benefit from training to understand RAP and resulting abuse, recognize fawning in children, and learn to be a safe adult whom a child could trust to talk to about what’s happening in their homes and churches.
Like: Who is there for the kids?! I didn’t have anyone but my internal self to talk to.
Also: It has been hard and unfruitful trying to talk to my own family members, some of whom witnessed my abuse, about the reality of my abuse. They are not here for the kids turned adults fighting for their inner child and their own children. I’m just feeling angry (an emotion I wasn’t allowed to feel most of my life because of RAP beliefs and parenting methods)… I’m thinking of all of us children past, present and future.
being an SA abuse survivor myself, I found The Second Wound community / website to be incredibly validating -- the idea behind the title is that there's the initial wound of the abuse, and then the second wound of not being believed and not being supported by family :(
Love that, because it really does feel like a second wound. Thanks!
that book cover made me cringe! Just so grateful you guys are doing this work.
I wrote a song a while back about leaving religion and finally added this line "I know now that I have always been good inside". Whenever I sing that line it I feel some grief, but at the same time it feels therapeutic to just sing that line over and over!
That line!! It’s giving me the feels too.
What a powerful mantra to sing over yourself.
This is such important work. Thank you both so much. I know this is so hard.
Gahhh...SGM is such a nightmare. They lost a ton of power/status because of all this, but gathered everyone to Louisville with the SBC and regrouped.
As someone who attended a SGM church during this time, the culture was so so so bad. There is no ordination, just internal training. If you are liked (and male), you moved up.
I started going after college - it was very different from the church I grew up in and I found the style appealing. But that appeal didn't last long. The members were very insulated and did EVERYTHING together, all week long. After marriage and having a baby, it was pretty clear I didn't fit in (and was clearly dealing with undiagnosed ND issues). At one point, there was a women's tea where we learned about submission and I HATED it. I had brought the two tea sets I had, but apparently forgot the saucers, so mine were hidden from view under the table. So, I sat at a table with people I didn't like very much, drinking tea I hated, and eating tiny sandwiches when I was hungry. Ugh.
The part about the saucers makes me laugh now.
There were other issues that became screamingly obvious when I was diagnosed with a medical issue and my son was born with a congenital issue. A little after that, the rumors started about the abuse and the coverup. There was an internal report that started a lot of this, and I was able to read it online. When I brought it up in our small group/bible study, I was told that we were told not to read the report and why would I go against the leadership. This is where my ND brain reared in protest: "Why wouldn't I read something? I read everything." I literally couldn't imagine not reading something.
Later, I was part of a group that confronted the senior pastor about it. I asked him what we should think of the core members who had left because of the abuse - they were people he had done everything with for YEARS. I was gossiping, he said, and this was inappropriate.
I was done. We tried a few different churches until 2016, when I was done for good. I never allowed my son to be alone with anybody from a church. I knew better.
Oh my gosh what a nightmare. Thank you so much for trying to bring up that stuff . . . I feel like ND people often make the best whistleblowers but man it is a lonely job.
Anyway, they're evil.
So much to think about here - I think you could do another chapter on the ways evangelical teaching sabotages normal human (child) development. I remember thinking about this when my children were toddlers -- if Jesus was human, he must have gone through a phase of saying "no" just like any normal toddler. At the time, this was a tool for me to accept some of the frustrations of parenting toddlers - but also I recognized that many Christians, in seeing Jesus as perfect, would have believed that he never said "no" to his parents. He always obeyed.
And this - the focus on obedience, is key to abuse.
Similarly, when I was a teen, so many adults saw me as mature because I was quite compliant. And thoughtful. But even as a young adult, I struggled with what I'd been taught to view as "Christian maturity" when I knew I had yet to attain maturity as a human being. And sometimes, it seemed even then, those things conflicted.
I was raised in a Christian home I'd describe as evangelical adjacent -- but the insidiousness of Christian radio and Christian publishing means all these harmful ideas were very prevalent in the circles I was raised in, and the ones I raised my children in.
we're actually kicking around the idea of a book on this very topic! We've written about toddlerhood & adolescence in former chapters, looking at how evangelicalism targeted these important phases -- but we're looking to broaden it, and look at several developmental phases and the impact of religious authoritarian parenting
“They abide and they endure.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Night_of_the_Hunter_(film)
If anyone hasn’t seen this film, I recommend it. NOT AN EASY WATCH, especially if you infer what the film is saying that it *couldn’t* say in its era (pre-code). Rachel’s final monologue of the film, especially, drives home how old and constant this violence towards children has been. Thanks for writing this piece, super helpful.
I've had this recommended to me before! We're currently watching the movie Spotlight (2015), so maybe this will be next?