Oh thank God, I'd been waiting for the ultimate religious authoritarian parenting crossover event, so I'm SO glad to hear y'all in conversation! I spend all my time these days thinking about the relationship between the Dobson/Pearl/Gothard genre of parenting and our current authoritarian moment, and I feel like NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT. But at least D.L. and Krispin and Talia are!!! Keep talking about it! It's so important!
Also: I don't where my strong will comes from, but I have to say that after retaining my stubborn belief all through my childhood that what was being done to me was NOT FAIR, I really think that inner will is the reason I'm not crumpling under the weight of current events.
I don't mean this to criticize any of my friends who are feeling depressed about the current situation. I'm just saying that that's not my instinct. My instinct is to say, "It's not fair!" and keep pushing back against it. I once escaped from an unfair world and found a fairer one. I believe to my bones that we can do it collectively if we nurture that strongwilled child inside us.
Thoroughly enjoyed this conversation (and finally bought the book!). This in particular I found incisive:
"So as if like child beating wasn't nefarious enough, the other sort of more like hidden agenda is that if you weaken the bonds between parent and child you force both to cleave more tightly to the church and the community."
I don't know if this was a conscious decision on my parents' part, but it was certainly the effect. Despite their at-times violent infedility when I was younger and the years of corporal punishment (and fear of it that kept me the meek and obedient "good kid"), there was nevertheless a longing to be close to my parents, a desire to feel safe and comforted around them. But more and more they delegated that to Jesus and the church and I got "tough love" instead. No wonder I bounced around from church to church and demonination to denomination when I left home for college--I was seeking family.
Hello! I don’t know how to contact Krispin or DL, but I signed up as a paid supporter about a week ago, and I still haven’t gotten the Discord info, which is a major reason I joined up. Can someone please help? I’m really needing community right now. Thank you!
Oh thank God, I'd been waiting for the ultimate religious authoritarian parenting crossover event, so I'm SO glad to hear y'all in conversation! I spend all my time these days thinking about the relationship between the Dobson/Pearl/Gothard genre of parenting and our current authoritarian moment, and I feel like NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT. But at least D.L. and Krispin and Talia are!!! Keep talking about it! It's so important!
Also: I don't where my strong will comes from, but I have to say that after retaining my stubborn belief all through my childhood that what was being done to me was NOT FAIR, I really think that inner will is the reason I'm not crumpling under the weight of current events.
I don't mean this to criticize any of my friends who are feeling depressed about the current situation. I'm just saying that that's not my instinct. My instinct is to say, "It's not fair!" and keep pushing back against it. I once escaped from an unfair world and found a fairer one. I believe to my bones that we can do it collectively if we nurture that strongwilled child inside us.
Thoroughly enjoyed this conversation (and finally bought the book!). This in particular I found incisive:
"So as if like child beating wasn't nefarious enough, the other sort of more like hidden agenda is that if you weaken the bonds between parent and child you force both to cleave more tightly to the church and the community."
I don't know if this was a conscious decision on my parents' part, but it was certainly the effect. Despite their at-times violent infedility when I was younger and the years of corporal punishment (and fear of it that kept me the meek and obedient "good kid"), there was nevertheless a longing to be close to my parents, a desire to feel safe and comforted around them. But more and more they delegated that to Jesus and the church and I got "tough love" instead. No wonder I bounced around from church to church and demonination to denomination when I left home for college--I was seeking family.
Hello! I don’t know how to contact Krispin or DL, but I signed up as a paid supporter about a week ago, and I still haven’t gotten the Discord info, which is a major reason I joined up. Can someone please help? I’m really needing community right now. Thank you!
Hello! I'll send you a message now :D
Well, I guess I did know how to get in touch with you after all! I’m really touched by your quick response, thank you for caring :)